* OFPR Chat

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  • Disrobed Monk: Comp dust2: 35 minute game
    January 11, 2017, 12:30:01 AM
  • Humblefunk: Hey strangers! I added a post in the forums but figured I'd type here to add more visibility. Johnny and I have started up the Minecraft realms server again that so many of us worked on. Come join us!
    January 19, 2017, 01:26:24 PM
  • VajIsForFags: Have any of you accepted/added me to your XBOX live friends lists?
    January 27, 2017, 10:24:03 AM
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    March 02, 2017, 11:03:45 PM
  • xGraeme63x: Am I still alive? Am I still allowed around here?
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    March 07, 2017, 04:01:53 AM
  • Agent Orange: Huh, the gaming news bot is still pulling in info from everywhere.
    March 21, 2017, 07:45:31 PM
  • Darth Shitty: MAGA
    April 04, 2017, 11:48:54 PM
  • Kyosuke Dei Knives: Maira diseappered for a month now. o0 that's not good
    April 14, 2017, 07:52:29 PM
  • Disrobed Monk: When the bleeding has stopped for a month; that's when you know you're pregnant.
    April 15, 2017, 12:42:21 AM
  • VajIsForFags: She has other good news that has been occupying her time. Something about a sex change is what I gathered.
    April 15, 2017, 08:15:40 PM
  • Agent Orange: Well eventually a fetus gets a gender or two I guess.
    April 16, 2017, 01:39:49 AM
  • Disrobed Monk: Did you just assume how many genders the Fetus planned to exemplify?!?
    April 16, 2017, 02:37:36 AM
  • Agent Orange: Sorry, I forgot that I was on Tumblr.
    April 17, 2017, 02:45:11 AM
  • Agent Orange: Anyone interested in Arma 3 plays? Mods? I don't know. I've played some of the campaign but I think Arma is probably best with some teammates.
    April 26, 2017, 08:17:03 PM
  • Sushi K: arma 3 is pretty much the only thing I play these days. It is wayyyy better with people and mods, but not that king of the hill stuff. I play with a group that do ops every friday and sunday.
    April 27, 2017, 01:06:07 AM
  • Agent Orange: Awesome! Any recommended mods?
    May 02, 2017, 05:42:42 AM
  • Sushi K: RHS for sure, leights opfor pack is pretty good too. And if you decide to play some insurgency (game mode in A3) then you'll probably need acre2 or tfar as most of those servers use some form of radio system.
    May 02, 2017, 11:46:22 PM
  • Sushi K: also ace, almost forgot that one
    May 02, 2017, 11:46:45 PM
  • Derpo Bugginz: I'
    May 11, 2017, 05:59:41 PM
  • Derpo Bugginz: I'm* going to have to get Arma eventually -- Most of my Steam friends have moved onto that
    May 11, 2017, 06:00:06 PM
  • VajIsForFags: Agent, I know you hate Colombians, especially of the fetal variety, but I am neither of those, so could you unblock my cellphone? :p
    May 15, 2017, 05:28:49 PM
  • VajIsForFags: (I am currently in Fetus' city: Calí)
    May 15, 2017, 05:29:57 PM
  • Fetus: WHY SO MUCH HATE FOR ME???? I'll have you all know I've been busy settling down and doing my womanly duties in the kitchen. That's all I do now. Clean and work. Please end my existence.
    May 15, 2017, 08:52:53 PM
  • Agent Orange: I guess its unblocked by itself already? Not sure if that VZW address caused an autoblock.
    May 16, 2017, 11:31:29 AM
  • VajIsForFags: I was on the road so it migjg have sent a few packets a couple of times in a row. Was a bit weird.
    May 16, 2017, 09:56:47 PM
  • VajIsForFags: Fetus, welcome to being an adult. Also, the woman I pay to clean my place is totally worth it. She even changes my sheets and puts them in the wash!
    May 16, 2017, 09:58:16 PM
  • Fetus: Yeah... I've done that maybe twice in 5 months? Nothing like sleeping in your own filth and sweat!
    May 22, 2017, 09:30:41 PM
  • VajIsForFags: Well, you could try sleeping in someone else's filth and sweat.
    May 27, 2017, 02:01:41 PM
  • Kyosuke Dei Knives: oo
    June 11, 2017, 01:23:08 AM
  • Fetus: oo
    June 14, 2017, 08:22:51 PM
  • VajIsForFags: Sorry for killing the conversation...
    June 22, 2017, 09:57:25 AM
  • Disrobed Monk: What conversation?
    June 24, 2017, 02:05:35 PM
  • Fetus: When will you come back and play ARAM with me? :'(
    June 26, 2017, 11:24:15 PM
  • VajIsForFags: When Agent buys me a laptop? :P I do miss playing. Pero tambien tengo una argentina viviendo conmigo ahora... :D
    July 07, 2017, 12:45:10 PM
  • Derpo Bugginz: C'mon Agent, get the man a laptop
    July 14, 2017, 09:53:14 AM
  • Agent Orange: OK let me know when it gets there
    July 17, 2017, 04:38:13 AM
  • Kyosuke Dei Knives: anyone still have invites to private torrent sites?
    July 18, 2017, 01:57:07 AM
  • CJmango: PUBG though.
    July 27, 2017, 08:05:50 AM
  • Kyosuke Dei Knives: it went thru a phase playing that game... first started bunch of wins easy, then a ton of shit htis the fan, and now im back to wins all day everyday... that said that server desync is real... so low fps too qq
    July 29, 2017, 02:28:49 AM
  • Kyosuke Dei Knives: and when i said shit hits the fan i had like 200 games and like only 2-3 wins... last 50-60 games i have 21 wins so
    July 29, 2017, 02:29:44 AM
  • Kyosuke Dei Knives: ranking restart soon though take those SS of the server where i have 1 game played 1 win 10k 0 d and call it worth $35
    July 29, 2017, 02:30:31 AM
  • Kyosuke Dei Knives: 5 million copies sold.. they should've fix way more shit by now derp
    July 29, 2017, 02:30:55 AM
  • CJmango: Yeah, I could see that.  It's a lot to fix in a short period of time too though.
    July 30, 2017, 08:29:47 AM
  • CJmango: kinda fucked up psychology too.  They made a ton of money and they could just say fuck it.  But now they have all these users and can go try and make the game better and figure out another way to extract cash from the users with crates and keys and shit
    July 30, 2017, 08:30:49 AM
  • Fetus: hats
    August 01, 2017, 07:09:44 PM
  • CJmango: HATS.
    August 01, 2017, 07:30:54 PM
  • Kyosuke Dei Knives: 400$ skirts.. lmao pubg u scare me
    August 06, 2017, 02:09:57 PM
  • Derpo Bugginz: had some guy I know sell a ton of H1Z1 skins and buy a $120 skirt for PUBG instead
    August 14, 2017, 02:48:13 AM
  • CJmango: jeesus
    August 14, 2017, 12:10:54 PM
  • CJmango: is he hoping it'll go up in value?
    August 14, 2017, 12:11:18 PM
  • Derpo Bugginz: i think he just wanted a skirt
    August 15, 2017, 10:58:58 PM
  • Agent Orange: Well you know what they say
    August 19, 2017, 05:56:30 PM
  • CJmango: play more PUBG?
    September 11, 2017, 07:27:52 PM
  • Agent Orange: I don't remember.
    September 12, 2017, 06:16:35 AM
  • Derpo Bugginz: I think that's right
    September 21, 2017, 11:25:51 AM
  • AnThRaX_: oh fuck i figured out how to login
    September 25, 2017, 03:14:09 PM
  • CJmango: win.
    September 25, 2017, 03:37:44 PM
  • VajIsForFags: Wait, I can have a male character that wears a skirt? Can it be pink?
    September 28, 2017, 01:21:39 PM
  • VajIsForFags: And god damn't, I let my domain lapse quite a few years ago and now it is listed for $1900... :(
    September 28, 2017, 01:22:15 PM
  • Kyosuke Dei Knives: [link]
    November 08, 2017, 12:18:51 AM
  • Kyosuke Dei Knives: Destiny 2 PC clan in case anyone wants to casual it up. [link]
    November 08, 2017, 12:19:05 AM
  • 311: Up here in Washington we be drawings dicks in the sky! hope your home towns are keeping up.
    November 22, 2017, 08:36:45 PM
  • nillzaaah: hi!
    December 12, 2017, 04:38:49 PM
  • CJmango: ohello
    December 17, 2017, 11:09:15 AM
  • VajIsForFags: I played League of Legends for the first time in 2 years and might be addicted again... Good thing I still don't have a computer.
    January 10, 2018, 01:50:30 PM
  • CJmango: Haha--You go to CES?
    January 13, 2018, 02:06:47 PM
  • Fetus: PLAY LEAGUE WITH ME NUNS
    January 18, 2018, 07:12:37 PM

Author Topic: Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See  (Read 18537 times)

Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See
« on: November 29, 2006, 12:34:02 AM »

Offline Darth Shitty

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� it was the year 2000.� I got my first internet connection (AOL 4.0 dial up).� Since it was my first net, it was my first AOL experience.� I was a chat room pimp at that time.� I got all the AOL lingo down (lol, rofl, imo, etc etc).� I met this younger girl online ( i was 19 she was 16 or 15 or 17 i cant remember lol).� We talked everyday, she sent me a pic of her (from the year previous this will coem into play) and I sent her a pic of my cock (web cams plus a case of icehouse and a 40 oz of Old English are never good combos).� She fell in love with me.�

� She asked me to come down but since i was only an E-3 in the air force and the trip was a good 8 hours away I didnt have the money to come (im a man im born to lie and good at it to women) she offers to pay for it (fucking aye right doggy).� I tell her since I drive by there on my way home to georgia/alabama its roughly 100 bones there and 100 bones back.� I thin about her offer since she agreed on 200 for me to come down.� Her pic was a good looking girl and I was wanting some strange puntang, I agreed and told her I would come down for the 3 day weekend.� I drop a few friends off that came with me in a city called Souix Falls, SD and proceed on to Omaha, NE.� I get there (her dad owns a dry cleaners chain in Omaha) and drive to the one she was working at.�

� I see this fucking gigantic Andre the Giant looking bitch at the counter.� I am scared and walk in and ask for her, it was her.� I (being the nice guy that I am) hang around since I drove all this way and got 200 out of it, I figured what the hell.� We go to her house (her dad isnt there, but i did meet him later on and he is a very very gay man, loves the cock) we hang out withe rher pot/coke head friends (i dont smoke or nothing at first but I kept looking at this walking talking jenny craig reject and said fuck it im gonna hit this shit).� The night wears down I can tell she is sad (or really fucking hungry) and decide to go with her to her room.� One thing leads to another (yes I am fucking obliterated and drunk by this time thanks to mr pot and jack daniels, i drank alot of liqour in my early years) I start on her and she says im a virgin, i jsut smiled and pounded it like Clubber Lang in Rocky III.� I did it all night and never pulled out (this bitch was a coke head so i figured her ovaries are shit no condom either!)� So I leave and never talk to this bitch again.�

� She called me for 3 months straight and I jsut prayed to god and thanked him for caller ID and for making this bitch dumb and not blocking her number or trying a dif phone.� $50 bucks is all it took for me to get there and back.� I got $150, booze, pot, and big girl sex.� The pic she sent was her a year ago, she neglected to tell me her dad made her take steroids because she was anorexic or something then, but when I seen her it looked like she ate the bitch in that picture.


That is the story of Shitty's Gas Money
« Last Edit: November 09, 2012, 01:28:44 PM by BikeThief »
Quote
Go fart in a wine glass, stir it around and smell it you pretentious dicks!

Re: Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See
« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2006, 02:27:12 AM »

Offline VajIsForFags

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This needs to be unlocked like Kyle's drunk post.� Come one, come all, come ridicule Shitty before he makes you look like a fool at a later point in time.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2012, 04:02:22 PM by Darth Shitty »
Raging: Where\'s Cactus\' signature? I want to see his signature



Re: Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See
« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2006, 02:40:41 AM »

Offline GAYPRIDE

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Who Fucks big women?

Modified.-Named Butch.

Re: Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See
« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2006, 03:44:18 AM »

Offline They Call Me CHARLIE

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i love shitty whether he fucks fat women or not,

just make sure its woman. not man


This weekend you are getting dunk and we r gonna change all our frequencys on vent to 70% just for shits and giggles
I look back at posts i posted and wounder what i was thinking

i was a retard


CRAZY BOTCH!

Re: Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See
« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2006, 06:22:45 AM »

Offline Goat

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Rofl and we'll give him another fat one, as Rev and Skis said, the one in Rev's sig rofl

Re: Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See
« Reply #5 on: November 29, 2006, 07:24:01 AM »

Offline soolee

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ha i did that one time.. and denied it to her face when her friend asked me if we fucked at her house . it was funny.
1

Re: Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See
« Reply #6 on: November 29, 2006, 08:43:30 AM »

Offline Lost_

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ahah kinda wierd story there lol.......�  :-\

i bet you had so much fun................... (fat girl hahahahhha)
« Last Edit: November 09, 2012, 04:02:40 PM by Darth Shitty »





Re: Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See
« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2006, 10:20:59 AM »

Offline skislopr

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dunnna dunnnnna BUTTSEX.

Re: Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See
« Reply #8 on: November 29, 2006, 10:33:34 AM »

Offline Kick His Ass Seabass

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LMFAO! More cushion for the pushin' baby! YAHTZEE! The first girl I had sex with was a big girl...not a fat girl but a birg girl she had a couple inches on me and I'm 6'. She had some fucking tig bitties. =D I broke her heart though. weeeee

Re: Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See
« Reply #9 on: November 29, 2006, 11:41:42 AM »

Offline Purple Haze

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i dunno about you all..but besides shitty, who else gets to call themselves a giggalo of gas money and profits?


-My normal pee pee is bigger then your erect pee pee

Re: Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See
« Reply #10 on: November 29, 2006, 03:35:55 PM »

Offline Imperial

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IM TELLING HIS WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!




Shitty tell everyone the story of how you banged king kong bitch

"Cant dude, Wife On Couch"



Re: Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See
« Reply #11 on: November 29, 2006, 03:50:01 PM »

Offline CrazyFrog

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Nice one Shitty lol :)

I Will try to do the same thing.. and get 150$ free money !1 :)

Re: Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See
« Reply #12 on: November 29, 2006, 06:05:53 PM »

Offline trdsn89

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Yea nice but when did u meet your wife.

and does she know u did this???




Re: Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See
« Reply #13 on: November 29, 2006, 08:24:37 PM »

Offline RoadApples

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are you sure she didnt have herpes or something

Re: Shitty's Gas Money Story For All To See
« Reply #14 on: November 29, 2006, 10:48:23 PM »

Offline VajIsForFags

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The wife or the fat virgin?
Raging: Where\'s Cactus\' signature? I want to see his signature